A POEM FOR JEFF
MY POEM FOR JEFF
A broken soul so alone and lost, when a child falls through the cracks, so dear is the cost.
desperately in need of love, nobody to turn to, when push came to shove.
no longer able to cry, for inside he's beginning to die.
they said they saw emptiness when they looked into his eyes, i say no one looked deep enough, or paid attention to his cries.
so lost and alone, nobody to turn to, no place to call home.
to deny his true thoughts, so desperately he tried, but no matter where he went, from himself he could not hide.
the horrors in his mind he could never escape, they played over and over again, like a broken tape.
he lost himself in pornography and booze, fighting a battle he would ultimately lose.
in religion he looked for peace, but his demons just would not cease.
into his lap, out of the blue, an invitation landed, could it be true?
then a thought entered his mind, it's a conspiracy, a test of some kind.
he resisted temptation, in hopes of salvation.
but, the desire was so intense, as was the enticement of the suspense.
hanging by a single thread, trying to resist the thoughts inside his head.
a demon conquered so he thought, a sad delusion, so many battles yet to be fought.
he realized he was fighting a battle he couldnt win, he could fight no more, so he finally gave in.
after he saw what he had done, he was then convinced that the demons had won.
a soul can only be damaged so much, until with reality, it will totally lose touch.
desperately in need of a friend that wouldnt go, but a way to make them stay he did not know.
only for himself did he harbor any hate, to his fellow man, he simply could not relate.
when it was all over he felt relief, but, all was lost in his belief.
when they took him down he let out a yell, like a beast set free, all that was left was an empty shell.
when it all came down, crashing upon his head, all he said was, for what i did, i should be dead.
from society he was forever locked away, for what he did, he had to pay.
he returned to his faith and was redeemed, but not on earth, so it seemed.
too soon after the words were said, his wish was granted, and Jeff was dead.
at times when i need him the most, i look at myself and i see his ghost.
he said he felt he created a holocaust, i feel so much like him, a soul that is lost, lost, lost.
My UNCONDITIONAL LOVE ,MY DEEPEST DEVOTION, MY HEART, MY SOUL, TO JEFFREY LIONEL DAHMER, FOR ALL ETERNITY! MY HEART ACHES FOR YOU ,MY EYES WEEP FOR YOU, MY SOUL LONGS FOR YOU, MY BODY STARVES FOR YOU, I SEE, HEAR, FEEL, SMELL AND TASTE YOU. YOU ARE HERE, INSIDE OF ME, MY BEAUTIFULL,MY LOVE,, MY JEFF. I LOVE YOU
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
had a son it was true, with hair so fair and eyes so blue. after a rough start, everything seemed so fresh and new. I watched with pride as i saw him grow,when he smiled, his face seemed to glow.Then one day his light seemed to go dim, we never thought it ment something so grim.We got him a pet and he seemed ok for a while,and naming his baby brother seemed to make him smile.But again he became sullen and shy,and no answers came forth when we tried to find out why.As the years went past, it became aparent that our marriage would not last.The fussing and fighting had to end, try as we may, the relationship could not mend. In time i would meet the person to share my life,and soon she would become my wife. But for now it was time to say goodbye, i hugged my kids and turned away, so they wouldnt see me cry. Now i look back to an earlier time, when our life was free of crime. I remember saving my son from the sucking earth,holding him with love and protection like i did at his birth.I wish i could do the same thing now,just yank him from his inner hell, but i dont know how. For the price of pain what is the cost, where does a heart go that is so lost,lost,lost? When it was all over he knew it was time, the gig was up, he had to pay for his crime. he gave what little fight he had left,and then he was through, just how broken he was, nobody knew.he compleatly gave up,and turned his head,and then he muttered for what i did, i should be dead. immagine feeling so little worth,that you no longer diserve to be on this earth. all his privacy was taken away,and his entire life was put on display.how sad and broken he was, we could now see,and in our dark secret thoughts we admitted,that could be me. i often think the most human of all, are the ones that hurt the most after they fall.